Articles

Crimewatch

In Uncategorized on December 15, 2010 by grahamharrowell

I think Crimewatch was either too subtle or they missed trick. Asking for information on a violent gang who beat up and torture people whom they think hold a lot of cash in their homes the BBC showed a reconstruction of the crimes.

My advice to those who keep moolah in the house would be like that given to people in banks or carrying cash in transit. If they ask for the money give it to them. If they want to know if there’s a safe, show it to them. Unless you want them to pour boiling water on your genitals don’t mess them about. Another good tip is not to insult them, tell them they’re cowards or curse them, unless of course you want a long course of maxillo-facial surgery and cosmetic dentistry. In the world of the ligatured victim, the man with the pick-axe handle is king.

Those who know me well will confirm that not only do I have no cash in the house but that I rarely have any more than a fiver in my wallet. My wallet is a repository for discount cards and loyalty cards. Cinemas, Body Shop, Sainsbury’s, Tesco (Loyalty? I’m anybody’s) Go Outdoors. If a thief gets to work with my cards all he’ll be doing is giving me a massive Nectar card bonus. In the rare event that there is money in my wallet any pub landlord will tell you that getting it open is hard enough but extracting anything is practically impossible.

If Crimewatch wanted those in the know to grass up the bad guys they could have skipped the roughing up of the lady and the beating and boiling of the two men. All they needed to do was focus on the waterboarding of the dog. Give the animal his due, he didn’t tell them where the safe was. No, the Great British Public are soft on the ill treatment of animals. So either the BBC will get no response or, knowing their trade well, they will have got the subliminal message across by the brief shot of the pup being shoved down the dunny and later emerging shaking off the excess.

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